


Floating twig in a flowing creek

by immer_sie



Category: South Park
Genre: M/M
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2017-12-16
Updated: 2018-06-29
Packaged: 2019-02-15 13:09:57
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 5
Words: 6,148
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/13031817
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/immer_sie/pseuds/immer_sie
Summary: The following depicts a series of extracts from Craig and Tweek's everyday life. Simple, harmonious, placid.But no life as we know it consists of solely happiness and tranquility.





	1. A morning in winter

Tweak & Bros Coffee isn't selling coffee today.

From the outside of the brightly lit coffee shop, one can see the rectangular-structured building framed by snow. Ice and frost decorates the plain exterior and its tinted glass, giving it a rather isolated look. Warm, amber lights from the inside illuminates the paths of the descending snow, but is unable to compare to the myriad stars obscured within the faint, winter skies.

Beside the clock that read ‘04:13’ stood a messily-dressed boy behind the counters, he twitched lightly while fixing his gaze on the menu stuck to the wall. An edge of the poster had peeled off, leaving only half the menu visible. There were plenty of ways to fix it, the blond boy already had numerous tools with him on the counter – Tape, scissors, a box of nails, hammer, glue, stapler… and even a first aid kit. Everything was scattered and ready to go, but Tweek had no intention of moving a muscle.

He was not tall enough, and there was no way he’s going to stand on top of the counter to reach it, because then the counter would have his germs. Germs that would stick to everyone that goes near the counter, which would then infect them and eventually devour them with bacteria. It would all be his fault, the whole town would blame him for his unforgivable sin, kick him out of the town and he would die alone on the streets of starvation and hypothermia.

He had thought about using a chair instead, but he might fall off and his head would slam against the floor. The floor is full of germs. He would die and nobody will remember him and his ridiculous death. He was fully aware that chairs also had germs, so at one point he had decided to get rid of all the chairs in the shop but Craig had stopped him. He said that he wouldn't visit a coffee store with tables but no chairs, just the idea of it was absurd.

“ARGH… This is way too much pressure!” Tweek turned away from the menu and tools to get his apron, he took a quick look at the time, ‘04:35’. He obtained the dark-green apron hanging off a hook and wore it with haste, he hadn't started to prepare things at all and people would start arriving at 5. He had already decided that, since the coffee menu is unreadable, he wasn't going to sell coffee today. If people can’t see half the menu, they’ll think that he is an irresponsible owner and stop coming to the shop.

Just before the clock hit ‘5:14’, Tweek finished cleaning and preparing, his last task was to either figure out how to get the menu upright, or to just rip the whole thing off and not sell coffee for the day. This was a huge dilemma and he is running out of time to think. He didn't want anyone to see the hideous state of half the menu falling off first thing in the morning –

Then the door opened, followed by a pleasant ring of a bell. Tweek panicked and almost broke his neck turning around with such urgency.

There stood a man wearing a blue chullo hat with a yellow puffball on top, he had a blue scarf wrapped around his neck and jacket of a similar color. His pants were dark, but not dark enough to match his raven hair.

“Dude, is the menu falling off?” His eyes met with Tweek’s, although he made no signal to move away from the door. “That’s lame.”

It was the familiar, monotonic voice Tweek hears almost everyday. He felt his face heat up, so he turned back around to observe the peeling poster, while responding in a panicky voice. “D-Don’t call my shop lame! You’re lame!” Then he noticed something weird so he rotated his head once again, “Wait, you don’t dri-drink coffee, why a-re you here?”

The man took big steps towards the shaking shopkeeper, though those may just be small steps for him, due to his above-average height. He reached one side of the counter and threw a couple of coins on top. “I would like to order one kiss from Tweek Tweak.”

Tweek stared intensely and felt himself unable to hide the redness of his cheeks. “I-I don’t want your money… But if you help me wi-with this thing I’ll consider.” He pointed at the peeling edge of the poster while looking directly at the man, half of his face was covered by the huge scarf.

Tweek watched as the man got around the counter to see the tools laid out, “But… Can’t you do this yourself? You've got everything here already.”

Tweek explained his thoughts and calculations of the possibilities if he did so, but before he could finish, the menu was already fixed. He was about to say thanks but was interrupted by his sneeze. Despite the heater in the shop, he was wearing nothing but a green shirt, black pants and an apron – Its color had matched his shirt, it made him look a little ridiculous.

Prior to him recovering from his sneeze, he felt a thick layer of cloth covering his shoulder. The man’s face was revealed by the absence of his scarf, which ended up around Tweek instead. Before the scarf was completely wrapped around him, he felt a pair of warm lips pressing against his own. His surprise made him open his mouth slightly, he held back a moan as their tongues met and the taller man begun exploring his mouth. Strong arms embed his back and hips as Tweek felt his body becoming strange.

He pulled back suddenly, gasping for air. He drew in oxygen but also the scent of his beloved from the scarf that secured his neck and shoulders. He didn't want his mind to be filled with him again. He was already thinking of him every second, he couldn't afford thinking of him much more, it would cost him focus in work and every other aspect of life… Although a part of him argued that he doesn't need anything else but him.

Tweek quickly picked up the coins the man threw on the table and jabbed them back inside his pocket, “You-Your order is already delivered… Now leave b-before anyone else comes!” He was flustered and begun to push the man out of the shop, before he exited, Tweek pulled off the scarf and delivered it back to the man. “You’ll need this m-more than I do, keep it...” He said as he helped him wear the scarf, with difficulty in terms of height. Tweek suppressed his temptation of standing on his toes, it would make him look even shorter in front of the tall male.

“Thanks, honey.” The man said, Tweek looked up to see something that resembled a smile, a smile that he would show no one other than Tweek. A genuine expression that tells Tweek that he is loved, that they belonged to each other. His smile serves like an ember of hope through the harshest of times, recurring in Tweek’s memories like the ripples of a pond when embraced by falling autumn leaves… Though Tweek must admit that he needed more practice smiling, since he seldom did so to anyone else but Tweek himself.

Tweek watched as the tall male walked further away from the shop. His silhouette masked the dazzling rays of winter’s breaking dawn, his enlightening presence can easily make one mistaken him for a shadow puppet – Almost too perfect to be real. The morning was calm, his arrival and touch soothed Tweek from his endless discharge of the day’s worries. Just before Tweek watched him disappear in the snow, he ran out to embrace the brisk air and to call out, “Craig! I… I lo-”

The man called Craig halted and turned around, his gaze made Tweek unable to concentrate. “I lo-” Tweek tried again, but it just wasn’t working. He just couldn't get himself to say the simple three-worded phrase. Why was ‘I love you’ such a big deal? So it ended up like, “I lo… lov-love y… y-ellow aprons!!...”

Tweek & Bros Coffee managed to sell coffee today anyway.

_________________

To be continued

Will probably become explicit at some stage


	2. A case involving underpants

“Tweek, mind telling me the time?” It was the first thing Craig managed after waking up from possibly one of the worst rests of his life. He convinced himself that he’d fallen asleep in a refrigerator and his body felt as if it was eaten away by rust. Though it didn’t surprise him due to his abhorrent sleeping posture, in which he had doubts about if it was a stance truly conceivable for one asleep to manage. He believed that there were vague indications of sunlight in the obsidian sky, despite the profuse stars of which still inhabit within. Beyond the framed glass Craig regarded as windows, snowflakes tumbled out the sky in hordes as though the angels were emptying sacks.

But he didn’t really have the time to care about any of that, because the only thing that’s obvious was that somebody has a flickering flashlight and was handling it like clothes spinning in a washing machine. The light beam kept on landing on his face so he gave up trying to open his eyes, the fact that he was still exhausted didn’t help.

“ARGH CRAIG!” He heard someone panicking but was too drowsy to process its content, “All my underpants are gone! ALL OF THEM! Even the one I was wearing!! T-The gnomes must be back! AHHH!”

“… Calm down, Tweek,” Craig attempted to speak, his voice muffled by a pillow, “I’m sure there will be a sale for underpants soon enough in Walmart.”

“No! You calm the hell down! That’s not the problem here!” Craig then felt the bed being moved, “Oh god, where did the gnomes enter from? I’ve got to find the--”

“Tweek! What the he--” Craig sat up too soon and felt as if his head was about to explode, he realized that his sleeping posture was due to Tweek maneuvering him in effort of finding his underpants. The entire room was a mess and he could see his furniture moved and in a state as if they’ve just been looted by thieves, there were clothes and random things scattered all over the place but then he realized something more important.

The problem wasn’t because he could see his own dick, it was because his underpants were gone.

“Okay, dude, seriously. What the fuck.” Craig scratched the back of his head and yawned, still trying to follow Tweek’s dismayed movements running around the room pulling his hair out. Craig’s eyes were still half open, wanting to sleep through this mayhem.

Tweek was wearing shorts too small for him probably from his grade school days, it had brought out the shape of his ass perfectly as well as his private part. But he didn’t look too attractive because of his agitated state. “They have all of my underpants! And yours! There is no w-way I’m wearing jeans without underpants! My w-wiener will get caught in the zip and I w-will die!”

“Tweek, how many times this week did our underpants suddenly disappear? Don’t you think the gnomes already have enough underpants to enter phase two of their plan?”

“W-What do you mean?”

“I’m starting to think maybe it’s not the gnomes that’s taking our underpants, I mean, usually they wouldn’t take those we are wearing, correct?”

“Well… now that y-you mention, they don’t.”

Craig patted a spot next to him on the bed and Tweek walked over to sit down. He pulled the blond close to him to plant a gentle kiss on his lips, as he continued to caress Tweek’s hair and blushed cheeks, he could notice that the overwhelming twitching had ceased.

“Anyways, I’ll try keeping an eye out who has extra underpants they don’t own, but for now let’s go buy some more underpants.”

“But- But what am I supposed to wear?”

*

It was a heartwarming sight to see a couple holding hands while walking down a snowy street. The man wore a blue jacket and black jeans while the woman wore a short skirt, tights, long boots and over-sized hoodie. Perhaps the attire was unsuitable for such snowy climate, but one would know the firm grasp of the gentleman’s hand is enough to provide warmth to both her body and her heart.

So surely it would be the same if the lady turned out to be a man.

“This was a terrible idea! ARGH! Now everyone will t-think that I’m a girl!” Said the boy wearing a skirt,

“Don’t worry, I’m sure no one will see you. After all, it’s only about three in the morning.” Replied a monotonic voice, someone could easily mistaken it to have come from a machine.

“B-But it’s really- it’s really cold!”

“Would you like my jacket?”

“NO! That’s even worse t-than your idea of me wearing a skirt! If you catch a-a cold you m-might die! ARGH and I’ll be left alone!” Craig could feel Tweek trying to walk in a very awkward manner, “Dude, t-these tights are-aren’t doing a good job holding my wiener, a-and balls. I could feel them s--”

“Alright, that’s it.” Craig said as he took off his own jacket and threw it into Tweek’s face as he picked him up as if he was his bride, Tweek was twitching and making noises of disapproval, but was soon quietened down by Craig’s lack of response.

Upon arrival at Walmart, Tweek refused to enter at all costs, therefore he was instructed to wait at the exit while Craig gets their stuff as fast as his legs could carry him.

As Tweek’s surrounding was once again filled with serenity, he begun to actually think about things, which he rarely does. As his eyes track the bursts of white vapor floating towards heaven, he realized that some of his deep exhales turned into sighs. His hands were gripped onto the collar of Craig’s jacket, in which he pulled them tighter trying to keep his warmth from escaping. His legs felt numb due to the cold and he no longer thinks his feet exists.

Then out of nowhere, he heard soft crunches of snow from the trees behind him. He turned around to see someone with a familiar face, though the memory seemed so distant that Tweek could barely recall when the last time he saw this man was.

“Eric?”


	3. An offer

“You know, Tweek, I’ve been through countless jobs and businesses and, non of them seemed to provide me with almost enough money I need to do what I want.” Cartman said as he clicked his fingers. A man in suit and sunglasses appeared after the cue, carrying two mugs atop a silver tray. He carefully placed the mugs one by one onto the table hosting Cartman and Tweek, which was draped with a luxurious red velvet cloth and adorned by a candle stand sitting above, its faint glow barely illuminating Cartman’s face and the rest of the dark room.

Tweek twitched uneasily in his seat, despite the chair itself being the most comfortable he had ever sat on. His nervousness caused his hands to pull on the brim of his shirt, his eyes suggesting his devotion to drink the mug of coffee in front of him. “U-Um… What do you need so much m-money for? Do you want to bu-buy a mansion or s--”

“Tweek,” Cartman called, his finger circling the edge of his coffee cup suddenly halted like a machine out of oil. “Do not. Interrupt me. My authorities in this building is absolute.” His expression was blank, but the look in his eyes was menacing enough to make Tweek quiet.

“You are excused. Anyways, as I was saying, through all the jobs I’ve been through, I’ve finally found what’s the most suitable. You and your little coffee shop I can buy with just one of my trades. You see, it’s related to… Auction. And if you would like to cooperate with me, Tweek...” Cartman grinned and leaned forwards, his weight made the table creak. “Half… No, even more than half of my… No, our income, will be yours. We’re talking millions at a time.”

He leaned back into his seat and took a sip from the mug, “I imagine that your little coffee business made you unaware of what potential money has. Think, Tweek, think about just what you could do with all the money. You can live in heaven without being dead.”

Tweek didn’t look convinced, as his gaze was shifting all over the room, he regretted abandoning Craig to talk with Cartman. He never really trusted or liked Cartman, but he was his childhood classmate after all, following him to somewhere unfamiliar for a little chat wouldn’t hurt. Or so he thought.

“So, Tweek, what do you say to the offer? Will you work alongside me? I’m sure Craig will be very proud of you, I heard that he isn’t doing so well making enough bucks. He is financially struggling, did he not tell you? And you can help him.” Cartman stopped when he saw Tweek’s expression shifting. Knowing this, Cartman chuckled to reduce the tension between them. “I know, Tweek, it must be hard to support someone so poor… But I know you love him enough to do something about it. Anyway, you can have as much time as you would like to think about this offer. For now, have a drink, we came here to talk about old times after all.”

Tweek was glad that Cartman spared him by changing topics. He knew Craig wasn’t the richest in South Park, but neither did he know he was financially struggling, he never showed it. At least not to Tweek. With this information processing inside his head, he picked up the mug and drank as if he wanted to get drunk. The liquid in the container was gone in no time, Tweek didn’t even taste anything, he didn’t care.

“F-Fine, I’m interested in your offer. But don’t try do-doing anything funny like you always do back in school.” Tweek said,

“Alright, Tweek, but before I let you in my offer, you must do two things. Very easy, it’ll be done in two seconds.” Cartman smiled as he clicked his fingers again and a different man in suit came out of the shadows to hand Tweek a piece of paper and a pen. It had Tweek startled and disturbed how he could just creep up behind him without him even noticing.

“Please sign. Don’t worry, you don’t have to read any of the things written there, it’s kind of like those iTunes update terms and conditions, I just need to do it for the sake of doing it. Trust me.”

Tweek looked at Cartman, and then down at the paper. It was covered in words on both sides, the font was small to the point it was ridiculous for one to read. At the bottom was a line where Tweek obediently wrote his signature.

“Thank you very, very much Tweek.” Cartman smiled at him as he took the piece of paper away from Tweek immediately after he signed it, “Now please say, ‘I agree to every terms and condition and is willing to become a property of Eric Cartman.’”

“Wait, what?” Tweek frowned, he realized at this point he was drawn into something fishy, he shifted his legs preparing himself to run at any sign of danger.

“Please, Tweek, you can always back up on the offer by signing another paper.” Cartman lied, “I promise this is the last thing you’ll need to do here today, and then we can go out for breakfast. We’ll invite Craig along as well, of course.”

Tweek sighed, “I agree to every terms and condition and is wiling to become a property… of Eric Cartman.”

It was the last thing he said before he felt his head becoming dizzy. He grabbed onto the table cloth in attempt to not loose his balance, but he knew that he fell off his seat and then there was nothing.

*

“Can you please hurry up? I’ve got someone waiting for me outside and I don’t want him getting cold.” Craig frowned, his eyes following the slow movement of the Walmart worker as she dragged the tags of the underpants over the scanner one by one.

“Well you can’t blame me, I aren’t the one who’s buyin’ ten thousand underpants. Plus it’s like three or four in the mornin’. Who the hell comes so early? No-oh-body. At least not in this Shit Park or whatever it’s called.”

“South Park. You can’t complain, you’re getting paid for this.”

“Whatever. I’m only here for tonight. This job really aren’t right for me.”

“Why is that?” Craig became curious, he realized that it wasn’t this lady who usually works here during the night and early morning hours.

“I aren’t no tellin’ you nothin’. If you’ve got the mouth to talk to me go suck off your boyfriend instead. I bet you guys do it every ni--” The woman suddenly stopped talking, as if she caught herself saying something she isn’t supposed to.

“Alright, seriously, hurry up.” Craig said as he took out his wallet. The woman finally finished scanning all the underpants and called out a number.

Craig paid and hurried outside, only to realize that Tweek is no longer where he was. He looked around, perhaps someone was walking in this direction and Tweek felt the need to hide himself, due to his inappropriate clothing. He took out his phone with his free hand, dialed a number and pressed it against his ear.

Moments past and there was no answer, so Craig assumed that Tweek returned home. Embarrassment, probably. Or the cold.

He started walking back.

He arrived home.

He saw that there was no light in the house.

He entered and noticed there was nobody home.

He started thinking.

Then he realized, he dropped the bag of underpants and begun running backwards to Walmart. He hated himself for not finding this whole situation strange quicker.

The Walmart cashier wasn’t slow because she was lazy or tired, she was slow because she was unskilled. She complained because her job wasn’t being a cashier, it must be something else due to her hideous attitude to the job and to him as a client. She was new to this town and cared so little for it that she had mistaken its name, yet she knew that he had a boyfriend? She didn’t stop talking because she found herself being rude, she did it because she was going to give away something – Something that must be related to the disappearance of Tweek.

Craig slipped on the path countless times, it had rained and the temperature made the water into a thin layer of ice. He tripped over but didn’t care, was Tweek targeted somehow? What was going on? Or was he just overthinking things? He must be.

But it was too late, by the time he got back to the store the woman was already gone and there was not a soul in the entire building.


	4. Before a cup of coffee on some rainy day

Craig was about 180 cm tall, and Tweek just under 173 cm. Craig always wear the same suit and the same tie and the same shoes for work, there really wasn’t much of a variety in his closet. After all, he wasn’t the richest person in town, he barely manages to get by, paying for his rent and everyday needs. But of course, Tweek is unaware of all that, Craig sees no benefit in worrying him. Tweek’s coffee business isn’t bad at all, but Craig never asks for loans. The little money Craig saved up is always for renting new clothes, so whenever he goes on a date with Tweek, Tweek can see that he’s doing well and buying himself new clothes. Then the next morning he would return the borrowed clothes, hoping Tweek doesn’t remember what he had worn.

 

It was two days later when Craig finally heard news about Tweek. He hadn’t slept for more than 48 hours. He didn’t eat much of anything either, because every time he looks at coffee or gourmet foods he is reminded of Tweek standing behind the counter, handing him a tray with a plate of warm food and coffee. When their hands brush past each other momentarily over the tray, the thought of Tweek’s delicate fingers only made Craig more bitter about his disappearance.

 

In the two days, he asked everyone he knew of about Tweek or anything related to missing persons. The last time he felt so miserable, the way his stomach seems to consume itself and the way his heart feels physically strained, was when Tweek, back in grade school, ‘broke up’ with him in front of everyone. Except this time it feels way worse.

 

“Craig, are you listening?” A voice brought Craig back to reality, it wasn’t loud, but it was demanding.

 

“Yes. I believe the event will take place tomorrow night.” Craig attempts to shift his attention back onto the topic, though he had no idea what the other party was talking about earlier.

 

“That’s right, we’re going to break in through the fire exit, follow this route all the way to the cells and get them out before they’re taken onto the stage. If we fail, we’ll loose them both, and we’ll probably get killed. Well, I guess you’ll be the only one dying, I somehow come back alive every time but, whatever. We can’t fail.” Sitting opposite of Craig was Kenny McCormick. He had a terribly vague map laid out on the table, and Craig was still doubting if their ‘secret meeting place’ being in a cafe was the best option.

 

“Look, I have no idea why you’re helping me, but just so you know in advance I don’t have any money to pay you. I am renting an apartment and all the –”

 

“Wait, I thought you were living with Tweek in some house around here?” Kenny interrupted,

 

“That’s his house. I stay there sometimes but I still technically live alone.”

 

“Why don’t you move in with him? Wouldn’t that be better for you both financially?”

 

“Well, Tweek still thinks I’m making a lot of money and living in some five star hotel waiting for my mansion to be built.”

 

“Doesn’t he question the progress of the mansion construction or anything of the sort?”

 

“No. He believes in pretty much everything I say.”

 

“But why would you lie about being poor?”

 

Craig went silent. Quiet chattering in the cafe and the sound of cars driving through wet asphalt outside filled his ears once again. He looked out the rain-covered glass wall beside their table only to see his faint reflection. Man, he looks like shit, he may as well be Mr. Hankey’s illegitimate son. It was dark outside and the rain won’t stop, Craig wondered if Tweek ate dinner yet, or if he had enough clothes to wear.

 

Kenny sighed, “Well, whatever. Not like it’s any of my business. Butters went missing a few days ago too, so I’m confident to say that they’re probably trapped in the same cell right now. Don’t worry about the money, I never asked for any. You get Tweek and I get Butters, simple as that.”

 

“Do you know the person behind all this… Human trafficking?” Craig asked as he furrowed his brows, the coffee in front of him had already gone cold.

 

Kenny shrugged, “Who knows. Probably someone evil like Cartman.”

 

*

 

“B-Butters?” Cartman did mention something about this month’s theme being blond twinks, but Butters certainly wasn’t the first person who came to Tweek’s mind. “How did y-you end up here?”

 

Butters was drawing on the floor with a stick, though it didn’t leave any pictures behind. He looked up to see another man with identical clothing to his. Or rather, a large piece of randomly stitched cloth Cartman provided his prisoners with. When Tweek was brought into his cell, he didn’t immediately recognize him, but upon hearing his unique twitchy voice, Butters had some idea of who the man was.

 

“Tweek! Long time no see! Well uh… I was just in Walmart searching for some stuff with Kenny and I got lost, then I saw Cartman! I haven’t seen that fella in a long time so he told me we’re going to go to some fancy Italian restaurant, so I followed him. Then he told me that he wanted some help with things and wanted me to sign a contract, so I did!”

 

“You… Didn’t read the contract?” Tweek asked,

 

“Nope! Well I guess if signing it means helping Cartman out then why won’t I sign it?”

 

“So you don’t k-know where we are right now or any-thing?”

 

“I do! We’re underneath an Italian restaurant and we’re going to participate in an auction! At least that’s what Cartman told me.”

 

“What?! An Auction? Y-you mean we’re getting s-sold??”

 

“When did I say that?”

 

“Gah! W-Why else would we be the ones trapped in a c-cell if we aren’t the ones g-getting sold?!”

 

“Oh, you’re right… That’s a good point.” Tweek guesses that Butter has no idea what trouble he had got himself into, and that he is still as pure as he was many years ago. He wondered who it was that had taken over his father’s role of protecting him from all the foulness of this world.

 

They didn’t have much conversation after that. They only got fed some expired bread and apples for dinner. Tweek expected himself to have been completely overwhelmed by the situation and died already. But for some reason, parts of him was telling him that somewhere in the city of South Park, there’s a person desperately searching for him. That thought alone was quite enough

 

*

 

Craig wasn’t going to forgive the mastermind behind all this underground bullshit. He gathered whatever he could use and now it was just a matter of waiting. When the veil of night covers the sky, he expects to see Tweek once again.


	5. Italian restaurant, getting out alive

23:05 Night of the auction

“Fuck, dude, the fire exit is more secure than I thought.” Kenny muttered,

“Well, no shit.” Craig said in his monotonic voice, he had no idea why Kenny thought breaking through a door as thick as his fist would be a good idea. “How about we try the bathroom window? It worked out before when we were kids.”

“Yeah. Thing always worked out when we were kids.” Kenny stated, though Craig assumed that he was more talking to himself.

But of course, the two grew too big for the bathroom windows. The ladies inside only screamed and threw tampons at them. Just when the two was stuck about what to do next, they realized the building was an Italian restaurant, so they walked straight in through the front entrance without making any fuss.

They got assigned a table and the two sat down, facing towards each other with some high-class candle-stand in between them. For some reason Kenny picked up the menu and started scanning. Craig felt the urge to punch him the face, what was he doing in a time like this? There’s only two hours left before the auction starts, and they’re sitting here ordering pasta?

“Dude, what the fuck are we doing here? Are you sure you haven’t got the wrong location?” Craig whispered as he leaned closer to Kenny,

Kenny ignored him and grabbed the arm of some nearby waiter, he pointed at something on the menu and the waiter repeated the order, “Two faggot pies with one glass of champagne. Absolutely. Please, sirs, follow me this way to examine the placement of your orders.”

Craig was dumbstruck towards Kenny’s actions. Two faggot pies? Would any restaurant have a dish so absurd? Was Kenny implying something to him? And why would the customers follow to examine their orders? What was going on?

The waiter begun to walk away, before Craig could react Kenny already dragged him along. They walked past the restaurant and the countless tables hosting customers enjoying their late-night meals. They finally arrived at some stairs leading downwards and the waiter stopped there, waiting for them to go down.

“Kenny, what the f –”

“Just follow me.” Kenny said as Craig got dragged down the staircase with him. Towards the end of the passage was two shady looking guards, they have yet to discover the two intruders.

“Alright, that was the first code to enter the auction. I have no idea what the second code is, so we’ll have to do things the hard way.” Kenny explained,

“Two faggot pies and a champagne.”

“Yeah.”

“Where did you even get that from?”

“You take the left one and I’ll take the right.” Kenny ordered and without second thought, ran towards the two men with guns and kicked one of them in the guts. Craig didn’t see what was going on but he followed anyways to beat the shit out of the guards. He punched the left guard on the face and landed a kick on his balls to make him drop the gun. He knew kicking someone’s balls isn’t the way to go, but in a situation like this, he really didn’t care what happens.

The guards were defeated without too much drama, Kenny looted their guns and gave one to Craig. They pushed the door the guards stood in front of open and entered some dark theater looking area with people wearing masks and a stage with grand lighting. Seems like this is the place.

*

00:42 Eighteen minutes before the auction begins

Tweek was shredded of all his clothes and thrown into a cage just enough for him to sit comfortably. Butters was the same, except in a different cage. There were more blonds lined up next to their cages, and Cartman emerged from the shadows to go to Tweek’s cage.

“Don’t you worry, Tweek. There’s no way Craig will know anything about this. Even if he did, he wouldn’t know the codes required to enter. Plus, this place is heavily secured. Getting in is easy, but getting out is a completely different matter.” Cartman smiled, “You’ll soon be sold for a fortune, and then I’ll consider giving some of the money to Craig… Oh, whoops, I guess the terms and conditions you signed stated that all wealth will belong to Cartman? Heheheh. Oh, pft, the terms and conditions really doesn’t mean anything, it’ll apply even if you didn’t consent to it.”

Tweek’s expression of fear really entertained Cartman, but at that moment someone smacked him on the head with a metal rod. Cartman was knocked out and the figure behind him was revealed. Craig!

“Shit, Tweek!” Craig ran up towards the cage Tweek was trapped inside of, he attempted to open the cage, but didn’t have the key for the lock.

“Craig! Ho-how did you find me?”

“Here! Craig! The keys!” A voice called behind Craig and Kenny threw him a chain of keys. Craig caught it and begun to try each one out. Not this one. Not this one. Not this one either.

“Hurry! The guards are going to come in soon and we’re done if we’re surrounded!” Kenny urged, he still needed to get Butters to get of his cell.

*

03:17 They got home without dying

Somehow, they got out of the place. Kenny got impatient and wanted Butters out first, so he grabbed the keys off Craig and Butters was released from his cell first. Kenny said something about they can’t afford to keep waiting so they left Craig there with the keys. Butters seemed reluctant to leave Craig and Tweek behind but Kenny knocked him out and carried him through the exit. It wasn’t the same passage they came in from, but it did lead to some place near Walmart, Cartman must have used this passage to access his kidnapping location.

Craig was a bit late but managed to get out with Tweek. He felt sorry for the rest of the people trapped in the cells but there was nothing he could do about them.

Only when they arrived home did Tweek realize the wounds on Craig’s body. There were bruises, cuts and his right thigh was scrapped by a bullet. Tweek didn’t know what Craig had to go through to reach him, but the moment Craig locked the door behind them Tweek was forced onto the floor, unable to escape from Craig’s tight grasp.

“Please don’t do anything like that again… What if I really loose you?” Craig muttered, it was the first time in three days he felt so exhausted. The next moment he was unconscious.


End file.
